Jadi Anak Digimon Sih Enak―Katanya

Numpang curhat review tentang semester 4 dulu bentar.

Redup

Pertama kali ada,
Aku merasa beda
Seperti ingin kau tetap hidup
Seperti ingin udara lega terhirup

Sekarang, kenapa kau redup?

Lebih dari Cukup

Kadang ia bosan memperhatikannya sebagai orang asing.

Ia bosan melihat bagaimana pujaan hatinya itu tertawa bersama teman-temannya sementara ia berkawan dengan buku-buku yang selalu dibawanya ke manapun ia pergi. Ia bosan melihat bagaimana sang pujaan menjadi kebanggaan semua orang, sementara dirinya hanyalah anak perempuan yang biasa-biasa saja. Ia juga bosan mendengar berbagai rumor dan berita terbaru tentang orang itu—betapa populernya dia, betapa menyenangkan berteman dengannya, ditambah sederet prestasi dan pujian yang selalu terselip.

Apakah ia cemburu? Tidak, ia tidak cemburu. Justru ia patah.

Jika saja sore itu ia tidak bertemu dengan laki-laki itu di depan gerbang sekolah dengan cahaya jingga menembus tubuhnya hingga ke dalam denyut nadinya, mungkin ia tidak akan mengutarakan perasaannya kepadanya secara tiba-tiba. Jika saja ia tidak mengatakannya terlalu terburu-buru, bahwa ia menyukainya tanpa alasan, mungkin anak laki-laki itu tidak akan mengerutkan dahinya dan meninggalkannya dengan jawaban yang membuatnya patah hati berkepanjangan.

Kabar terbaru dari orang yang disukainya itu—dari teman-teman yang hobi bergosip, anak laki-laki itu sudah punya pacar yang sama pintar dan populer.

Ia mencoba untuk tersenyum ketika melihat punggung anak laki-laki itu, dengan seseorang yang bukan dirinya di samping sang pujaan hati, setiap harinya.

Ia tak mungkin menjadi populer atau pintar, karena ia sudah terlanjur nyaman menjadi dirinya sendiri. Dan jujur dari lubuk hatinya yang paling dalam, ia ingin sekali menjadi dirinya sendiri di hadapan anak laki-laki itu.

Kenapa?

Karena yang diingat dari kejadian sore itu, dia hanya meminta untuk menjadi dirinya sendiri.

Dan menurutnya, itu sudah lebih dari cukup.

Ada Banyak Nama Untukmu

—tapi rasanya kau tak perlu tahu.

Karena nyaris setahun selalu berada di ruang yang sama, aku tak pernah benar-benar mengenalmu. Tiga semester berada di kelas yang sama, yang kulakukan hanyalah mencuri pandang kepadamu tak peduli bising macam apa lagi yang mengganggu.

Tiga semester, satu tahun—eh, belum?

Menurutku terlalu cepat, padahal sebelum ini aku merasa waktu baik-baik saja dan kerap memberitahuku berapa detik lagi tersisa untuk mengerjakan alternatif desain dan berdialog dengan Bahasa Inggris. Sekarang menurutku terlalu cepat, entahlah, mungkin karena aku merasa segalanya berubah dari semula, dari awal aku tahu ada kamu.

Awalnya mengenalmu itu menyenangkan, setiap hari aku mendorong pintu sambil mengucapkan selamat pagi dan siang, kau selalu duduk dengan tenang. Aku sering berpikiran ingin menjadi anak rajin yang bisa saja menjadi orang yang pantas kau kagumi. Awalnya, kukira kau lebih cocok dengan sahabatmu yang sering terlihat lebih seperti orang homo pacaran daripada sahabat biasa. Mulanya juga, aku berpikir ritual main basket bersama itu akan tetap ada.

Semuanya berubah, ya?

Ritual main basket itu berhenti menjelang ujian akhir semester satu. Sahabatmu tampak dengan dengan teman mainnya dan kau sibuk dengan gengmu seakan sahabatmu keluar dari geng itu. Dan waktu bergulir terlalu cepat sampai aku tak bisa merasakan apa-apa ketika nilai-nilaiku tidak bisa menjadi yang terbaik.

Padahal, setiap aku datang lebih, kau selalu duduk tenang. Kadang juga kau tidak ada karena alasan yang tidak kuketahui. Hal itu terus-terusan terulang sehingga akhirnya aku jenuh dan berniat ingin mendorong semua rasa untukmu supaya bisa kau telan bulat-bulat.

Tapi tidak terjadi.

Aku pengecut ya, Paus Biru.

Aku diam-diam menyebutmu Paus Biru karena aku suka hewan raksasa itu.

Dan—yah, banyak orang memanggilmu Kutu Bangsat atau Jamban atau Anjing dengan canda. Tetapi aku ingin memanggilmu Paus Biru hanya karena aku suka.

Ya, karena aku suka kamu.

.

.

.

.

Ada banyak nama untukmu—tapi rasanya kau tak perlu tahu.

The Power of Eyes

Well, it started from a fanaccount wrote this:

[The Star pofile- Kris]
Question: Girl Ideal type?
Kris: Beautiful eyes, looks like an angel.

(c) @Ssign99 via Twitter

Then there is my fangirl friend gone "WTF MAN YOU'RE TOO MUCH LIVING IN FANTASY, WUFAN!!! MY EYES NOT THAT BEAUTIFUL LIKE AN ANGEL YOU PIECE OF SH*T!!" and many more rage she throws to my Twitter timeline =)) Well, you should know that celebrity and fans has a love-hate relationship like my friend does. When they do fanservices or become too attractive, the fans will threw all their rages as the form of their affection.

Because I reflexively do that every time I saw Kris' photos HAHAHAHAHA—Okay, ahem.

If Kris means just a simply "beautiful eyes", it doesn't mean we must have a beautiful face, 'rite? Since eyes is one of face's part, 'beautiful eyes' could be meant 'beautiful face'. I don't think he will choose just only "beautiful face", inner beauty is a must. It is a pity when a girl or woman has a goddess-like beauty while she has a heart like a devil or lazy like a sloth, men will got sick with that kind of attitude.

Yes, it is cliché, I know.

But somehow... I think sometimes people can reveal "hidden power" from their eyes. For example, there is an old man walking slowly with a stick and look weak because his back is not strong enough to hold his body, but his eyes still has a power, he keeps walking no matter how weak he is, his eyes proof that he still has power to walk, or  an athletes' gaze when they run toward finish line, so focus and strong, isn't it?

Honestly, I love people's eyes, too, especially the tender one. Because I think they are sooo lovely, like their kindness can radiate to others. It's like a mom smile to a baby, and the baby imitates it by him/herself, you know?

Each eyes has its own power, whether they are weak or strong. It depends on how life tortures them. Some people have strong gaze could be had a hard life before we meet him, and also the opposite of it—some people could have a tender eyes because they life a happy, lovely life.

Like Snape said to Harry before he passed out, remember?

"You have your mother's eyes."

―Severus Snape to Harry Potter, in Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows

So, back to the topic (gah, always out of topic xD)

If Kris means just a simply "beautiful eyes", just live this world happily. We have our own eyes, so that means we have our own power to go through this life. Don't feel ashamed because you are ugly or short or not perfect enough. Just be your self, and show your true power with your eyes!

"Everything about him was old except his eyes, and they were the same color as the sea and were cheerful and undefeated."

―The Old Man and The Sea, Ernest Hemingway

-Ren

3.6.5! ((c) EXO)

Hey! ' ')/

Last day I had a trip to Manado and Toraja and Makassar, it was a wonderful journey! ^^
Though before that we've planned to go to Ujung Genteng on Eid Mubarak holiday (oh, btw Happy Eid Mubarak Day to you who celebrated! ^^) and suddenly my cousin asks my mom to take a holiday to Manado, at first, but things changed so we go to Manado, Toraja, and Makassar in five days straight. How was it? Tiring -____-

Overall, those three cities are wonderful! I love them soooo much ^^ they gave me a big pleasure and one day, I'll come again to Manado.

Okay, so the first day, it was a disaster -___- the plane was delayed for one hour (or maybe more, argh) the planned was not good enough. For the first day, we went to Gua Maria Mahawu Pilgrim in Tomohon and Bukit Kasih, one place that has a monument with five quotes from five dominant religions in Indonesia, one moment me and dad take a "climb" to a big cross monument in there, it takes hours, and as a result, my legs hurt ;;A;;

Day two, we went to Bunaken Marine Park! YAAAAYYYY ^o^
It was such a great GREAT place! Unfortunately I had period that time so I stand alone in the ship, looking at my whole family do snorkling T___T Bunaken has a great scenery, oh, and Bunaken people have a unique snack called "Halua Kenari", made from acorn, it taste good. I love that place, then we play along the beach before we come home.

Day three and four, we went to Makassar first to get to Toraja Land. Toraja is one of Indonesia's ancient tribe, they were popular with "tongkonan" (their traditional house—they keep it until today!) and their tomb stone and statues. They were great too, but it took looong way to get there, 7-10 hours, I think, tiring, I know -____-

Day five, we went shopping many souvenirs and goods, I also take a walk to Losari beach for a while. I buy many things for my friends, keychains and necklace (please know me xD), then we go home.

Those five days are so memorable, and next year, my mom plans to go to Raja Ampat (...) because there was an article about Nadine Candrawinata (Puteri Indonesia 2005) shows photography under the sea of Raja Ampat without ANY diving equipments! Even the photographer praised her! Wow... :O

So, how about Raja Ampat? Maybe... I don't know, yay or nay?

-Ren-

Heaven

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